Category: Uncategorized

you may want to sit down for this

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I know this may come us a great shock to you, all the more so if you paid a considerable amount of money for your “pashmina”, but I can no longer hide the truth:

The Authentic, Original pashmina is MINE.

Some poor ignorant soul had donated it to a charity shop, which didn’t know any better so instead of contacting Christie’s or Sotheby’s they let me have it for next to nothing!

PS. Oh, why haven’t I sold it for a staggering pile of money? The answer is very simple: There are countless bills, bank notes, cheques and coins in the world, but only one Authentic, Original Pashmina! 😀

The Manifesto of the Funhouse Mirror Liberation Army!

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For far too long, funhouse mirrors have mainly been confined to fun fairs and amusement parks, even though the world desperately needs more of them!

Funhouse mirrors should therefore be set free and installed in parks, schools, businesses and homes!

 

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one thing led to another, and then Jean-Paul and I became one!

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Yes, I’m name-dropping here!

Years ago I bought that Jean-Paul Gaultier lace-knit shirt at an outlet store. I was always very careful with it, but one day a a gash appeared in the front. Luckily the yarn wasn’t torn, just stretched out, but for the longest time I just couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

UNTIL I happened to come across the artwork of Jane Perkins who uses buttons and other recycled materials to create beautiful “paintings”. Check them out here!

Inspired by Jane and to honor Jean-Paul Gaultier’s playful style I rummaged through my box of buttons and other little bits and bobs and got to work, and now I have a more than unique Jean-Paul Gaultier shirt! I’m sure Jean-Paul would approve.

I’m also sure people believe me when I tell them the shirt is by Jean-Paul Gaultier, buttons and all.

(People will believe anything if the name associated with it is impressive enough..)

stretch of imagination

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And why not? If you believe that horseshoes bring good luck, you might as well believe in the extreme-adoration-enhancing properties of stretch trousers! It doesn’t really matter what you base your motivation or encouragement on (as long as it doesn’t cause harm to yourself or others!!!) Horseshoes and stretch trousers are just things, and things don’t care.

So whatever you think works probably will work. Maybe not the way you expected, but one way or another. And if you give up you’ll never know how, exactly.

So pull on your stretch trousers and keep going!

I’ve been wondering..

.. if Leonardo DiCaprio ever wishes he had more to hold on to? Could all the models simply be a smokescreen to hide the fact that he’s actually into voluptious women? (I mean, dating a model is one thing – but going on holiday with dozens of models reeks of a massive cover-up!) Perhaps for all these years he’s had a secret, fat girlfriend!

 

are you a showstopper or a sheet?

A week ago Abby Has Issues posted a blog post titled How to Change Your Sheets in Under an Hour.

Now, there are people who simply cannot comprehend what on earth she’s talking about. Then there are people like me. Who know exactly what she’s talking about.

Today I baked a rhubarb pie. And, as a person who knows exactly what Abby means, I opted for a sheet rhubarb pie. Simple, practical and tastes just as good as the pies with intricate decorations on top – tiny sculptures of the gods of ancient Greece carved out of rhubarb, perhaps.

Sheet pies are also known as slab pies. Except among people who always carve ancient gods out of rhubarb (at 2 a.m..) – even if it makes them tired, cranky martyrs! They call them slob pies. 😉

 

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