SOS

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the other day I was on a bus that got stuck

no big deal, didn’t last long, just a bit of bad luck

yet the driver put the SOS sign on –Β  perhaps a sign of our times

that often make us feel we only get lemons and limes

our riches turning into dust and dimes

— but enough with the rhymes!

..and on to a prayer:

save our souls

soothe our spirits

shake our shanks!

…Ok, I think I reached my limit with the SOS variations there, but I made myself laugh and I’m more than happy to settle for that!

remember Leonardo DiCaprio’s secret, fat girlfriend?

You know, the one I wrote about quite a while back?

Well, I’m now convinced his latest secret, fat girl has to be Lady Gaga! At least based on how some people have been commenting on her Super Bowl show where she dared – gasp! – to reveal her apparently less than perfect midriff. (!!?) There must be something seriously wrong with my eyesight because I can’t see the “pot belly” those people are so disgusted by. All I see is a beautiful woman, but hey, I’ve been wrong before so let’s roll with this fat-a-gaga theory!

After all, these days, if a woman doesn’t have rock-hard abs covered with nothing but flawless skin, she is considered FAT. In other words, Lady Gaga is perfect for the closeted fat-lover Leo! FINALLY he has something he can really grab and squeeze and hang on to! And she can finally relax and feel worthy! To think that to this day she’s only had talent and hard work to fall back on!!

Quite a while back I also wrote about my decision to lose weight. I haven’t talked about that since so you guessed it, I haven’t lost all that much weight. In fact, I’ve gained – not any weight, but insights into the whole women and weight and stomachs and pressure thing that makes so many people go gaga. And one of the most astonishing discoveries I’ve made is how even people I thought couldn’t care less about people’s looks or weight in fact care a great deal more than is healthy for them! On the other hand, some people who look like their lives are all about looks actually live lives filled with a much deeper purpose.

All that has led me into writing about the subject. I am currently working on a story about one woman’s panic-filled Saturday night in which I explore all those issues. More about that later this year! In the meanwhile I wish Leo and Gaga all the best!

 

a hooker for charity!

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Over the years, one of my best friends has made so many granny squares that it has become an automatic reflex, like breathing. Out of those granny squares she has made blankets. Those blankets have ended up in orphanages, refugee camps and other places filled with acute, painful need. Sometimes the blankets are wrapped around pipes to prevent them from freezing. Undoubtedly, many of them are by now torn and tattered. A few may have ended up in the wrong hands, but no matter:

Humanity’s bonds,

born out of good will,

no need for a bill.

If life’s managed to kill

that glow from your heart,

it’s never too late to take part!

MAKE BARF BAGS GREAT AGAIN!

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Barf bags have so much potential, which should be unlocked! My own lightbulb moment came a couple of years ago on a Scandinavian Airlines flight when I happened to notice how nice their barf bag, I mean MULTI-BAG, looked like. I took it with me, barf-free, and then had the idea of using it as a mobile compost for fruit peel. After all, I recycle at home so why should I stop when I’m on the go? When I get home I simply empty it into our bio waste container and put it back in my bag.

My SAS Multi-Bag has served me well, but it’s clearly nearing the end of its life cycle so on a recent Brussels Airlines flight I picked up a new one. I hope other airlines are going to make their barf bags more interesting, too. I’d also like to hear about what kind of creative uses you have found for barf bags! (And NO, I do not mean “creative” ways of barfing..!!)

LET’S MAKE BARF BAGS GREAT AGAIN!